Monday, April 16, 2012

Still More from I FORGOT

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I have often forgotten to remember to “mind my Ps and Qs.”

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“I forgot” doesn’t work well as an alibi, justification or excuse.

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This habit of mine: setting a stack of books in front of me: fiction, memoir, philosophy, poetry, art criticism -- a mix of genres, voices, images, concerns. Reading several pages of each volume by turn, back and forth, between different environments of ideas and feeling. At some point I will have forgotten which book I am in. It all becomes part of an ongoing conversation/jam session. At some points I’m more present and attentive than at others.

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I once forgot to set the alarm clock and woke up at the correct time anyway. Actually, that’s happened more than once.

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The nagging thought that I’ve forgotten something—but what?--often haunts me.

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Then there are the things I wish I could forget but never will.

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I cannot maintain my masks for long. I forget my selves. And then try to put them back on, inhabit them again. Of course, they aren’t always recyclable. And, of course, I’ve alienated “friends” along the way. In forgetting, there is both loss and gain.

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One can forget to feel hurt when one is distracted. I forgot my stubbed toe when my partner said something funny.

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Writing is an advanced form of forgetting.

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I have often forgotten how to spell words I thought I knew. Everything is strange.

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I have forgotten much more than I remember. Cues, psychic triggers, can bring things back though on occasion. Seeing a home movie of a landscape from childhood can evoke cascading memories.

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I have forgotten to put postage stamps on letters.

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I once forgot to remind someone to wake up in time to get to work on time and that person had a bad day.

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Once I forgot to give a shit about something I should have given a shit about. Actually, that happens quite often.

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Once I forgot to shave. And I was reminded that I had forgotten.

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Until recently forgotten: I, as an adolescent, reported the sighting of what I thought to be a UFO. The policeman said it was Sputnik.

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2 comments:

  1. This woke my brain up thank you Tom.
    love,
    Rebecca

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Rebecca,

    Sending a cyber hug your way.

    T

    ReplyDelete